I don’t know where to begin in sharing
these past two weeks with you. The days have moved quick and I feel
disorganized trying to arrange all that has happened. Since my last article,
the Lord has been faithfully responding to the cries of my heart. He has shown
me the choice I have in daily submission, the decision I have to enjoy it, and
the opportunities I get to share it. God has been wonderfully kind to me and as
I gather my thoughts for what words will come next I’m reminded of more our
Savior has done.
Starting
last Sunday, God presented me with two invitations I normally wouldn’t accept.
Reluctant to spend time with people I casually know and unsure of how to hold
it together, I engaged in these events and saw the openings Christ was giving
me to strengthen connections. Sure my mind wanted to be at home in bed,
isolated and lazy, in the comforts of my own home, but thankfully my spirit
spoke louder and I got to partake in the bonding of community.
Later
in the week I took my clothes to a local laundry mat. I’ve done this once or
twice since living in Los Angeles but it certainly isn’t my norm and I ran into
someone that helped me learn a little more about purpose. After I loaded my
clothes into the washers, I sat down to read a book that was required for school.
Only a few sentences in, a homeless man (we’ll call him Taft) started up a
conversation with me. He was hard to understand, drooling at the mouth, dirty,
and quite incoherent. I engaged with him for about five minutes as he talked of
prostitutes and the mob that he and his friend were trying to stay away from,
then he excused himself and went outside for who knows what. I asked the
laundry attendant if I could go sit on the washers as to move away from Taft,
probably in his late 50’s, whom I knew would be back. Thankfully the attendant gave
me allowance but when Taft came back he returned to me, asking if I could help
untie the knot his clothes had spun. Giving assistance, another man came over
and struck up a conversation with us. In doing so, Taft asked this newcomer to
tighten up his pants with the string that was hanging from his front belt loops.
I think it took the new guy a second to register what Taft had just asked him
and my first thought was “wow, what a question!” Though Taft was everything I
described earlier, he had started to sober up and seemed pretty capable to do
this on his own. However, after a beat, I witnessed Taft have a complete
stranger lift up his pants and tighten them up good. Oh wow-
I
had undone all Taft’s clothes by this point (2 mismatched shoes, a pair of jeans,
and some raggedy socks), he thanked me and told me he’d give me a hug but he
understood why he shouldn’t. I nodded my head but extended the hug anyway and
it only got a little uncomfortable. Taft and the man came and went for the next
45 minutes or so, while I finished my clothes and continued reading. During one
of their quick visits, engaging in brief conversations about different things,
Taft asked me what was wrong with him. He told me how he felt gullible and
taken advantage of. How he kept giving to his friend who continually got him
into trouble and asked what he was to do. Luckily the second gentleman had come
back by then and was quick to answer his questions in a supportive yet
disregarding way. The two wandered away again and Taft left the mat. Turning
back to my book, the next few sentences spoke to me. They talked about Jesus
and how He freely gave for us. How our Lord continues to give and why we should
give like Him. I felt as if Taft needed to hear these words but he had gone and
I really didn’t feel comfortable with the idea of sharing this with him anyway.
Finishing my laundry, gathering my things, I headed for the door as Taft walked
back in. He didn’t see me and I had all the intention to just walk out that
door but… I didn’t. I walked back to Taft, put down my basket, and asked if I
could read him something. He agreed and I read to Him about Jesus. I was shaky
and the laundry mat was surprisingly busy now, as if all these people had came
out of nowhere. I finished the sentences, put my hand on Taft’s heart, and told
him he was loved. He didn’t say much after that, but I tell you he looked like
a completely different person. His eyes were clear, his face was composed, and
he had just brushed his hair. I said goodbye to him and the man who had
tightened up Taft’s pants was there as well. I shook his hand and thanked him
for what he had done. He didn’t pay no mind to what I had said, but I thanked
him again by saying I didn’t think many people would do what he did. I felt
privileged to be there that night.
In
asking God to help me and bring me to places where He can be glorified, He
certainly provided all that was asked, and if that’s not clear to how powerful
Christ is, He did it again this past week.
It’s
been a little rough at work lately and things were in a really sour place for
my boss, who was stressed to the max. I stepped outside, early in the day mid
week and asked the Lord to mightily intervene. I told him I didn’t know how He
was going to do it but asked if He could just make the next call the call my boss was waiting on. Well,
15 minutes later, my boss didn’t get a call, but he got an email. Halleluiah
indeed! I got to share that story with my boss walking to lunch that day, but
he didn’t seem too impressed because the email wasn’t exactly what he wanted.
However, I did get a slight smile out of him and another co-worker walking with
us said she thought it was pretty cool too. Praise God!
In
the midst of answering these prayers (among others) and giving me insight to different
things I’m talking with Him about, my soul has been peaceful and He’s
maintained my joy. I’d love to continue to write that everything’s been
sunshine and rainbows since pouring my heart out to Jesus a couple weeks ago,
and in the grand scheme of things, I guess it has been. But my surroundings
pressure to take that away.
Since
I last made time to write out this journey, I’ve encountered several situations
that not only irritated me but others that sadden my heart. My patience was
tried and I felt the selfishness of others. There’s been a lack of professional
communication in both my work and school life. I was blatantly ignored in
person by one friend and got into a
rather heated conversation with another. I’ve had my theological views questioned
in a cheapened way, listened to others that seem rationally questionable, and
made some decisions that could be questioned the same. Life’s been difficult, I can’t say it’s been easy,
but something about these two weeks has been wonderfully beautiful.
The
Lord has been faithfully by my side and I’m learning how to acknowledge more of
His presence. How to worship Jesus throughout the day and find peace in His
strength. Still how to communicate and listen or watch for His response. How to
wait. How to stay in His Word. While He continues to teach me and bring joy to
the world, I have to daily make that choice to press into His greatness. I have
to balance the outlets of relieving world stressors and run the risk of being
called preachy. I have to live in a way that resembles God’s love and continue
to be judged by calling His name. Having to do these things, I have to make it
clear, I choose to.
I
choose to because He makes the chaos wonderfully beautiful. I choose to because
being apart of His power is thrillingly mind blowing. I choose to because I
know that there’s nothing better and I choose to because I know He’s the Truth.
Jesus, may Your kingdom continue to come! Restore this broken image. God may
you illuminate the lives of Your creation and soften our hearts to the wonder
of Your majesty. Let us draw close Lord, so You can draw close to us. For Yours
is the power and glory forever. Hallelujah, Amen-
