Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Discovered Treasure - Week 42


There’s been so much about this past week that was enjoyed. It was a week connected and as I move into the last nine weeks of this project I ask that the Lord continue to reveal Himself mightily so I may write about His movement and give honor to His name. With a week like this one past, it’s hard to deny the power of God and describe all the ways He interacts with His children. There’s been prayers answered and conversations had that have humbled me to His majesty. For this I give praise to the witnessing that I am allowed to have.
 In my own answered prayers, I finally got the dreams that I have been asking for. Though they were just as confusing as not having any, I did get to thank God for blessing me. They weren’t revelatory by any means nor did they give me wisdom on the clarity I’m still looking for, but they did come, and they were remembered. What’s funny about them is that I knew they were coming. I knew that as soon as I wrote about the disappointment I had in not receiving them and as soon as I changed a part of my lifestyle, that they would come, and they did! God is so good in that way. When He says wait for me, He means it. When He says He will do something, those words do not return void, and it’s in those words that we have the option to draw closer to Him.
Certainly I could have chalked up my absence of dreams to the Lord not answering prayers. I could have given up on asking because after a month I felt as if there was still no movement. I could have put my faith on a shelf to carry on living in a way that disregards acknowledging Christ and all that He is doing, but I decided on the opposite. I changed my actions in a way that I knew to be beneficial to my heart and was given an answer to my call. I put my selfishness on pause and momentarily gave up things that I knew were taking away from His Spirit in me. I spent more time in His Word and more time in conversation only to have the fruits of that time bloom. While it’s true that I may have got apples instead of oranges, the fruit was still present, and it tasted just as sweet.
 In other answered prayers, there was a day this past week that was really bad in the office at work. It started off on very bad note and my boss was in an extremely grumpy way. Thankfully, our new office mate asked if I had any Christian music that I could put on and instead of playing the usual disguised tunes I played some clearly evident worship music. It took no longer than an hour and before those sixty minutes had passed, it was if my boss had forgotten all about the terrible mood he was in. Inviting Holy Spirit into that office, He changed the atmosphere. He made His presence known and calmed the stormy tempers of our workplace. To see Christ work that fast was amazing and to think that in the simplicity of music our Lord ministered to the hearts in that room is astounding but He didn’t stop there.
Along with these answered prayers, I’ve committed daily time to pray for a friend overseas on a mission trip. While I am not directly there and have no way of altering any outcome of their trip, Jesus sure does, and I believe He has heard my intercessory requests. In their already short time there, five people have dedicated their lives to Jesus and three more have been healed from ailments that have affected their lives. Praise God indeed! How wonderful it is that our Father is touching the lives of many, opening the eyes of those who were once blind, and strengthening the trust, love, and desire for relationship with those who already know Him. Hallelujah, amen! More Lord please!
Not only did I get to see and be apart of many answered prayers this past week but I also got to hear of God working outside my immediate world as well. I’ve heard of people feeling sad, worthless, and unappreciated, pouring out their heart in turmoil, who were blessed by the Lord the very next day. I heard of unknowing prayers over people that allowed for forgiveness. I’ve been blessed by others sharing with me how they saw the Lord move so powerfully in the last month of their life that they had trouble describing the truth of it all because the instance was so magnificent. What a week it’s been and how easily I’ve forgotten.
Though I’ve managed to write about some really cool stuff this week I almost left out the part about my workplace being calmed by Christ because it escaped my mind. I nearly passed over the forgiveness I heard about and feel ridiculous because I know there’s more I can’t recall at this time. What a shame I feel for how feeble we are and how quickly we dismiss the blessings of God. I ask that we be tenacious in our remembrance and quick to share even the little things of glory. For it’s in these little things that one might believe and it’s in these little things that He works heavily.  

Lord please continue to open our eyes and give us lips of praise. May You strengthen our minds so that we can recall Your constant goodness and fill us with joy through Your Spirit. God I thank you for all that has happened this week and am hopeful for what’s more to come. Jesus if You will, kindly provide us with an increase of wonder, soften our hearts to the truth of Your name, and lead us to opportunities that allow more witness to Your beauty. In Your name I pray God. Amen!

Saturday, July 8, 2017

Overuse of My Own - Week 39, 40, & 41

            
         These past three weeks have been unsure, confused, and in desperate need of fulfillment. Reading my last words I feel encouraged by the beauty I’ve seem to forgotten just weeks after I wrote them. The delay in this entry has not been from lack of available time but more so from lack a of dedicated time. Off and on I’ve spent moments with our Lord but have had trouble rejoicing or even talking with Him in variety. I’ve moped about doing good and was even angry in the way I got to provide for someone looking for help. Perhaps it’s in the way I feel stagnant and flighty but I’ve said more than once this past month that my empathy card has been maxed. There have been more in the usual heartaches of life and this giving of self is growing tired from perceived lack of return. I’m mixed from internal responses and unsure of how to react while the good Lord hears my limited repetitive prayers. Though I feel bad for just thinking what about me, I have to wonder how to take delight in life when I feel so isolated and uninterested.
            In my own head, thinking about the unanswered prayers that directly concern me, I’ve started to get angry. For a month I’ve been sporadically asking for dreams. I’ve told others the same and dialogued about how I’m asking God to reveal His will to me in visions of slumber. I have yet to receive these dreams that I’m craving and then feel ridiculous continuing to ask for the same. I start to question the purpose of living for Christ and selfishly focus on the absurdities of trial. Wanting to be happy, I uttered the opposite, pondering how that sentence could even come out of my mouth. I thought about connections and how they all seem misled, how underlying motivations always seem precedent. With myself included, I speculate the grounds on which friendships are made and believe relating takes both a listen and share.
            Along with asking for dreams, I’ve also been begging for knowledge in clarity but then stop to wonder how much ‘begging” I’ve actually done? Treating Jesus like a distant friend, I go to Him in spurts of commitment. Though I revel in His majesty, I get upset because all I seem to hear is wait and waiting can really make one feel uneasy. Though I know my true desires want to live by His ways, I struggle to sit quietly and understand what it is He is doing. I have a hard time going to Him with everything or even being lengthy in the things that I do. No wonder I feel like my calls are being unanswered because maybe it’s not the Lord who doesn’t respond but our own hearts that are full of deception which limit our understanding.  
             Refocusing my thoughts to think about the time I actually spent in conversation with God over these past three weeks, I can’t recall an abundance and am almost certain there hasn’t been any growth. However, I was fortunate in being invited by our church to commit a week of dedicated daily prayer to people in need. Putting on a bracelet with the name of an individual whom I don’t know at all, I was reminded at least once a day to lift them up in prayer. Lasting only for minute at minimum and no longer than five, it was nice to have the reminder and a specific thing to pray for their name. It felt good to be a part of something from the outside and trust that Jesus blessed this person in their time by revealing His glory.
            During these past few weeks I’ve also seen God do wonderful things for the people I do know. I’ve heard of revelations and impressions that I’ve been asking Christ to give them and am thankful for the way that His love has brightly invaded their lives. I’ve had unbelievers share that they were thinking of me when they were pondering the existence of God and then strangers in faith tell me that I was the first person they’d met in our line of work to be so vocal about Jesus. All great things to give praise for and yet… there’s still been a hole.
            By Thursday, after being increasingly unenthusiastic, I forced myself to spend time in His Word. With nothing left to do, I knew that if I kept doing the same, I’d be stuck in this unloving apathy continuously. Though my mind tried to wander over and over and over again, I pushed to stay present and let His writings sink in. I could feel His Spirit stirring within me and though I cried steadily in reading the Psalms, some slight relief finally came after spending forty minutes or so dedicated to Him. The next day my co-worker noticed the difference in my attitude, told me I was getting there, and to hang onto the Truth. While that’s so easily said and so easily heard, the surrounding wars that fight make it seem so hard to believe.
Thinking about the way that I want to live with God, how intimate I am with Him now, and how much more so I’d like to be, I ask for His help in softening my heart to love Him more. May He show me the way that I was created to live and surround me with people who seek after His name. Let my petitions for dedication not go unheard but oh Lord strengthen my weaknesses and steady my mind. Grant me the joy that I so desperately want and bless me with visions which I know You can give. Jesus please reduce my unwillingness and remove all my spite. Allow me to grow in sharing with You and give me the ears that are hoping to listen. Thank You for Your promises and Your calling for trust. Thank You for loving me and giving me life. In Jesus name. Amen!